INTRO:
Yeah, man my stomachʼs growling right about now
Itʼs time to eat something up...

​VERSE #1:
Iʼm here to spice up your life like a salt shaker
So I can get to cooking up bread cause Iʼm a baker
And batter the track and hold it hostage
Like a super-fan with a polish sausage
Cause I love to jam, my name is jelly
The crowd goes bananas, nuts like Planters
A fat cat, you could still see my ribs
Always hungry, donʼt leave me alone with your fridge
And if thereʼs second then u know I got dibs
Fat bastard, donʼt leave me alone with your kids
Iʼm best when Iʼm hot and fresh like Folgers
Yeah, Iʼm the shit you could smell the aroma
They tell me come through so I roll up like Dolma
Yeah, Iʼm in the Hummer doing doughnuts like Homer
And itʼs an Odyssey, Iʼll tell you my philosophy
Then go on, watch me, live my life oppositely
Calvin H. baby, middle name hypocrisy
Coincidence or just a self full-filling prophecy
They tell me rap cocky, but I drop the modesty
ʻCause when Iʼm cocky its just weird in the mirror to see
Iʼm not sure what this rap game will do to me
But Iʼm a nice guy, once you put some food in me
And I ainʼt down with the “pusra” or the beef, nah
Iʼm only down with the “gupta” and the cheese, yah

CHORUS:
The rhymeʼs cheesy, but Iʼm the cheddar
They just fed up ʻcause I got so much feta and mozzarella
I stretch dough, and accidentally smack fools
So letʼs go, and Iʼma monterey jack you
Check the oven, ʻcause Iʼm ready, the alarm is on
Cereal killer, all the Lucky Charms are gone
It must be Christmas, the way I got Swiss Miss
And parmesan, as much as my arm is long
(repeat once)

VERSE #2:
Iʼm rich and creamy like Alfredo fettuccine
Like Fredo in part three, you just canʼt see me
You soft like marshmallow, yellow like pepper chinni
So Iʼma be the boss for a while like Mussolini
So pop me open I got wisdom like a Sobe cap
Wait, thereʼs “pacha”, somebody hold me back
But whereʼs my I C P, donʼt test me
Canʼt have pacha without my Ice Cold Pepsi
Itʼs hot baby, yeah, a four alarm-er
Iʼm a camel donʼt mistake me for a lama
Iʼm deep, I got layers like lasagna
Plus Iʼm not just the bomb, Iʼm the “bombya”
So, got on a plane on my way to Dre., itʼs the last flight
I packed light, but you know I got my flashlight
In case itʼs night, so I can find my way
To the front gate, and lean up on the button and say
Hey yo Dre, itʼs Calvin, the Chaldean
My cousins got stores if you know what I mean
“NO SALE”, wait let me explain what I meant
Itʼs wholesale, I get my M&Ms for fifty cents
Cause Iʼm the ice cream scoop, the coolest in town
So please tell Snoop, Iʼm the Charlie Brown
Kinda like Chris Farley, Iʼm a clown
And cousin Chris, play them gnarly sounds
So all I got is shake and bake and chow mein from last night
Itʼs no Moet or filet until my cash right
Iʼm done talking Dre, this is my last plight
Oh, and tell the Game Iʼm the cellophane cause I rap tight

CHORUS:
The rhymeʼs cheesy, but Iʼm the cheddar
They just fed up ʻcause I got so much feta and mozzarella
I stretch dough, and accidentally smack fools
So letʼs go, and Iʼma monterey jack you

Check the oven, ʻcause Iʼm ready, the alarm is on
Cereal killer, all the Lucky Charms are gone
It must be Christmas, the way I got Swiss Miss
And parmesan, as much as my arm is long
(repeat once)