INTRO: Yeah, man my stomachʼs growling right about now Itʼs time to eat something up...
VERSE #1: Iʼm here to spice up your life like a salt shaker So I can get to cooking up bread cause Iʼm a baker And batter the track and hold it hostage Like a super-fan with a polish sausage Cause I love to jam, my name is jelly The crowd goes bananas, nuts like Planters A fat cat, you could still see my ribs Always hungry, donʼt leave me alone with your fridge And if thereʼs second then u know I got dibs Fat bastard, donʼt leave me alone with your kids Iʼm best when Iʼm hot and fresh like Folgers Yeah, Iʼm the shit you could smell the aroma They tell me come through so I roll up like Dolma Yeah, Iʼm in the Hummer doing doughnuts like Homer And itʼs an Odyssey, Iʼll tell you my philosophy Then go on, watch me, live my life oppositely Calvin H. baby, middle name hypocrisy Coincidence or just a self full-filling prophecy They tell me rap cocky, but I drop the modesty ʻCause when Iʼm cocky its just weird in the mirror to see Iʼm not sure what this rap game will do to me But Iʼm a nice guy, once you put some food in me And I ainʼt down with the “pusra” or the beef, nah Iʼm only down with the “gupta” and the cheese, yah
CHORUS: The rhymeʼs cheesy, but Iʼm the cheddar They just fed up ʻcause I got so much feta and mozzarella I stretch dough, and accidentally smack fools So letʼs go, and Iʼma monterey jack you Check the oven, ʻcause Iʼm ready, the alarm is on Cereal killer, all the Lucky Charms are gone It must be Christmas, the way I got Swiss Miss And parmesan, as much as my arm is long (repeat once)
VERSE #2: Iʼm rich and creamy like Alfredo fettuccine Like Fredo in part three, you just canʼt see me You soft like marshmallow, yellow like pepper chinni So Iʼma be the boss for a while like Mussolini So pop me open I got wisdom like a Sobe cap Wait, thereʼs “pacha”, somebody hold me back But whereʼs my I C P, donʼt test me Canʼt have pacha without my Ice Cold Pepsi Itʼs hot baby, yeah, a four alarm-er Iʼm a camel donʼt mistake me for a lama Iʼm deep, I got layers like lasagna Plus Iʼm not just the bomb, Iʼm the “bombya” So, got on a plane on my way to Dre., itʼs the last flight I packed light, but you know I got my flashlight In case itʼs night, so I can find my way To the front gate, and lean up on the button and say Hey yo Dre, itʼs Calvin, the Chaldean My cousins got stores if you know what I mean “NO SALE”, wait let me explain what I meant Itʼs wholesale, I get my M&Ms for fifty cents Cause Iʼm the ice cream scoop, the coolest in town So please tell Snoop, Iʼm the Charlie Brown Kinda like Chris Farley, Iʼm a clown And cousin Chris, play them gnarly sounds So all I got is shake and bake and chow mein from last night Itʼs no Moet or filet until my cash right Iʼm done talking Dre, this is my last plight Oh, and tell the Game Iʼm the cellophane cause I rap tight
CHORUS: The rhymeʼs cheesy, but Iʼm the cheddar They just fed up ʻcause I got so much feta and mozzarella I stretch dough, and accidentally smack fools So letʼs go, and Iʼma monterey jack you
Check the oven, ʻcause Iʼm ready, the alarm is on Cereal killer, all the Lucky Charms are gone It must be Christmas, the way I got Swiss Miss And parmesan, as much as my arm is long (repeat once)